♥ --Tuesday, February 17, 2009
♥ Be with me forever.. <3 ♥
Fuck la...jus simply dun understand why we hav brain for sia. Being creative, imaginative or use it to tink also sure gt something crop up.
Had a fucking dream today and i dunno why of all ppl i've a dream abt her and it involves me and my whole family. Fuck sia, somemore i'm nt even related nor close to her but only noe her as a name. Somemore dream of dunno her funeral or wedding. Watsoever la. Fucking wierdest dream. Jus dunno why i jus dislike her so much tt everytime u mention abt her i get so fucked up. You also wouldn't like it if i keep toking abt my past ex rite. Tts y i hardly mention abt him. It's the same. You dislike hearing so much abt him and i too dislike hearing so much abt her though at times we're curious to noe wat's going on or mayb wanna noe if they did it before tis n tt.
Same logic if u mention abt her, i'll still tink tt u still hav feelings for her or mayb hw u tink back abt the past, the time u used to spend wif her or even who nesif u both were given a chance will the 2 of u be back tgt again. And i dunno why even though u say no, i'll always hav the tot tt u're always tinking of her. Mayb ur feeling for her is too deep. Same theory if i tok abt him or look at something, u mite tink tt if gt the chance i mite go back to him or love to observe guys or mayb look at guys.
Dunno why always hav tt tot tt she's always a barrel between us or mayb 1 day she mite jus come back or mayb u'll go back to her. Who noes? Now you can say no but who noes in the future. We can prevent it tgt nw but wat abt later? How would i noe tt u're nt tinking of her nor tinking back abt the past? Nt tt i dun trust you, but i un trust the ppl ard us nor the future, it's the fear in me which always harrass me. It's nt the fear of losing you only but also the fear of getting hurt again and again. Dunno why cant we jus lead a fucking simple life but a life full of complication. Even though, we try nt to make it complicated but in the end things still turn out to be a total mess.
It's nt tt at times when i keep quiet means something happen to me nor am i hiding things from you. It's jus tt i'm wondering, tinking or mayb jus wanna b quiet. Sometime to u, things which i say or do mite hurt you, it's the same to me but it's another way in which tt i dun really wanna show out to make a fuss out of it. I'm tt kind who will jus let it go away naturally.
Jus hope u'll try to understand my FUCKED UP LIFE better.
Labels: Complication jus drive me MAD
