♥ --Tuesday, March 24, 2009
♥ Be with me forever.. <3 ♥
Ytd...nt working. So went out wif darling. Outing was ok for the 1st part. Everything went smoothly. Had waffles then went to walk ard. Bought a dress so damn look like gown. It's so damn nice and it's my ideal kind of dress or gown. Having discount so bought it at only $39.90. Orignal price is 60 bucks. It may seems expensive but i guess it's worth the money cos i'm gonna hav 3 wedding tis year as in attending nt getting married. 1 is my friend which i'm gonna be her sister, the other 2 which is i'm gonna be their bridesmaid. Cool or wat??? Get to share the joy of being a bride too. LOL
Went to play acarde as darling wanna play his dunno wat silent hill. Then went to play some air hockey i guess tt's wat they call. And went to buy Nachos. Watch Watchmen at Eng Wah!!! OH MY...2nd time catching a movie at Eng Wah. LOL Nt much ppl watch it so ya can imagine the whole theatre kinda eerie jus like the show coming soon tt kind dof theatre. LOL
Had dinner at Pizza Hut. Had baked rice and it was nice while darling hav his usual pizza. Order a few side dish and ya time really flies when u're enjoying. It's already 9 plus. So ya walked to the stn.
In the train some bad stuffs really happen n tts the 1st time i cant control my tears. Nt say arguement but i guess i've been keeping lots of things inside me which i really wanna burst out but cant. Dunno why tis time round the things u said really hurt my feelings alot and i jus cant control. It hurt so much tt the heart is worst then breaking. It's so different from the past which i can jus take it and leave it tt kind of attitude. I can jus give u attitude or say i dun wanna meet but i still did cos i noe u're only left wif 2 weeks and i really wanna try to make it a memorable 1 for u before u go in. But i guess it fail. I purposely cancel all my work schedule jus to hang out wif u but guess it also fail cos u dun even seems appreciate but more concern on y i wanna cancel my stuffs and it's al because of who? But its ok. Jus pray hard tt i can get to work. Friends always told me nt to sacrifice so much things in life e.g like SC. Dun sacrifice my studies for SC and i did nt even heed it until my grades drop. Nw i sacrifice my time for u even when i'm given slot but i chose nt to go. My qns nw is...Is it worth sacrificing for u or for someone when they dun appreciate it or mayb is it sacrificing in a wrong way? I noe u used to sacrifice somethings for me in the past and i really do appreciate it. I guess mayb it's also my fault for nt telling u tt i cancel all my schedule cos of u, but is it wrong to surprise own bf? OMG...I DUN REALLY NOE!!!
The things i always say to u is all true and i mean it. The things i did for u already show hw much u are to me. Do u tink i do it for the sake of doing? If so, i rather get someone to help me fold the roses, stars, hearts and aalso the paperbag or mayb jus buy something n give it to u so it save all troubles by sleeping late, getting up early getting accidental cuts on my hands and my time. But i din. I tried all my best to do it all so is it also do it for the sake of doing cos is valentine's day and our anniversary. If tt is so then i guess all my efforts and time really hava gone down to the drain. The song tt i send u, i really mean wat i wanna say and hw i feel. Believe it or nt, it's up to u. FYI...I'm nt like tt FUCKING BITCH BIMBO of urs who do things for the sake of doing and say things for the sake of saing. Why would i wanna do tt when i dun see anything comes out of it. I'm nt like tt FUCKER who holds a hostage in hand doing things for the sake of doing and say things for the sake of saying while preying on other innocent hostage to attack them by revealing only her soft and gentle side. She a BITCH who is in disguise to attack innocent man to fall for her. I'm nt tt kind of bitch. Though the mole thingy on the magazine really says tt i'm flirtatious mayb i do agree but i'm nt like her who go round flirting wif guys jus to make u jealous. If i really flirt do i even be bothered by u or even get bothered whether u care or nt. I rather u love me for who i am n not wat i am. If i'm jus like her, rite now i can hav dozens of boyfriends without even bothering whether i lose anay of them or nt even if so i'm nt at a losing end cos i gt so many of them. I seriously dun understannd wat u guys see in her? Is it her soft and gentle side or her prettiness? I guess maayb is both cos a wolf in sheep clothing is so effective of getting hostage but only smart ppl noe hw to escape from it.
Sometimes u say i must reflect on my mistake i guess u too hav to reflect who is who and wat is wat. I noe at times, the past do really bring us down to a place where no help can get but i still tink love me for who i am and nt wat i am. Dun try to compare me or put me wif tt BITCH of urs cos I'M NT HER. U mite say it's nt comparing or wat but to me in a sense u're comparing it in another way.
I jus wish everything could really go back to the past where we had our 1st quarrel and tried preventing it. Our very 1st quarrel is the time where we were havaing our study break for our finals. Things started to get bad from there and worst and nw even worst tt we can even tahan nt toking for weeks and let me tell u, i'm getting used to nt tokin u for weeks, i dunno why. So whether u tok or nt i dun get bother cos i noe u dun care. Some comments from friends was mayb we're too busy wif our own stuffs and event tt we're neglecting each other more n more tt due to the consequences like tt. I kinda agree wif wat he say.
Labels: I JUS WANNA SHOUT OUT EVERYTHING IN ME
